Please forgive me
You are so beautiful to me
My dearest Diet Coke,
You are so loyal and beautiful and I have repaid you by turning to another. I am deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused you. You have always been there for me. Even when I was in another country and couldn’t get iced tea, I could find you.
The Diet Dr Pepper was on sale, I am a whore for a good deal. I know this is just a fleeting affair. The Dr is always so elusive and fickle. Its mystery is what draws me in. One day I will learn my lesson, and when he takes a hike I’ll turn to you and you’ll be there for me. I know you are my true love, my Imzadi.
Please forgive me, Diet Coke, I want to be your one and only. Will you let me?
Lunch!
Today’s lunch. More leftover pasta. What do you have?
Azuki face scrub
Many years ago I had found this facial scrub at The Body Shop. I don’t exactly remember the name of it, but the thing I did remember was that the one and only ingredient was azuki beans (also sometimes called adzuki beans). A search of their site brings up this new version of the scrub that also contains Sodium Chloride, Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate and a variety of other chemical ingredients and fragrances. It sells for $22 for a 4.4oz container.
Azuki Beans
I want to say, the much smaller container I had, was about $15. I loved this scrub. But one day it was gone from The Body Shop and then, next I knew, The Body Shop was gone from the malls. Ever since it has been brewing in my head that it should be easy enough to find some beans and grind them into a powder to have this scrub once again.
azuki beans in the grinder
I did some Google work and found that this is a popular scrub in Japan. Women have been using it for years. During a trip today to Chinatown I found a bag of organic azuki beans. For $2.29 I got a 15 oz jar that is half full. There’s nearly an entire bag of beans still in my pantry.
ground up azuki ready for the jar
To make the scrub all you do is take the beans and put them in either a blender, food processor or if you have an extra coffee grinder, you can use that. I just happened to have an extra coffee grinder that I haven’t used yet, it was sparkly clean. I ground the beans up about a 1/4 cup at a time until it was a powder. Kind of a corn meal consistency. I transferred the powder to glass jar.
To use the scrub just place about a dime size amount into the palm of your hand, add a bit of water until it becomes a paste and then scrub your face. If you buy organic beans you’ll be sure there are no added chemicals. I’m so excited to start using this scrub. I found some mentions that you can also use this as a mask, by adding a bit more water and letting it dry on your face before washing it off. I will have to try that.
Do you have any natural beauty products you make or like to use? Any suggestions for someone with very oily skin? I’d love to hear what you do.
Croissant Quest 2010!
Doing some independent Croissant Quest research at Panera on this fine Friday morning. How does a chain hold up to a private bakery? I’ll soon find out!
Monte Cristo
Ditched the heat of West Fest in favor of diner food and a movie. This is the Monte Cristo and sweet potato fries at Corner Stone Cafe @ Western/Diversey/Elston.
A letter to my 20 year-old self
Cassie Boorn is a 22 year-old blogger who was confused about life in her 20′s and asked all the women she knows to share a letter they’d write to their 20 year-old self. Inspired by the collection of letters she’s received I sat down and wrote a letter to my 20 year-old self. It’s not as easy as it seems, and there’s a lot more I’d say to her but I had to end the letter somehow.
Hey you,
Yeah, it’s me. I’m about 3 months away from celebrating our 2nd annual 39th birthday. Yes, I’m calling it that…mostly because our 39th birthday was pretty frickin’ lame. There’s nothing you can do about it though, so start planning now to celebrate 39 a second time and try to do it up big.
With that said, I’m not sure what to say to you. I keep having flashes of Diane Court in Say Anything giving her valedictorian speech saying, “I’ve glimpsed our future and all I can say is, GO BACK.” I’m not saying it sucks here on the brink of a new decade of life, but from where you are to where I am now, it’s hard. Really, really hard. I don’t want to scare you, it’s not just 20 years of suck. There are amazing things ahead, but for each amazing thing, it seems you’ve got to endure some serious shit. I’m sorry. None of it is any of your doing. It’s just what life throws at you. There’s nothing you can do to change any of it so just accept it and keep going. Sure there are some things I’d like to tell you to avoid, but those things are what makes me who I am now. I’m OK with who I am right now. OK, maybe you should drink more water, and try to save more money. But aside from that, things are what they are; you’ve got to take the bad if you want the good.
Keep in mind you don’t have to shoulder everything all alone. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You can ask for help, there’s nothing weak about asking for help. And speaking of weak, it’s OK to cry. Really. You aren’t a cry baby, you aren’t going to be laughed at, and you will be able to stop. I know you think it makes you look weak, but there’s nothing weak about crying. There will come a day, when the shit really hits the fan and you won’t be able to control it any longer. You will cry with such pain, the sound will terrify you. But don’t worry; you will be able to stop. You’ll pull yourself together and you will be able to move on. I just wonder if you cried more in the past if that moment wouldn’t have been so terrifying.
You are amazing at finding and keeping friends. It may not feel like it, but it’s true. Keep treating people right and learn to lean on them. You have collected the most amazing group of friends. You will surround yourself with people who care about you, who love you and want the best for you. Sometimes it won’t sound like it, but really, they do. Those people are telling you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, that’s what makes them your friend. No matter how far away these people are, keep them close to your heart. Even if they are people you haven’t met in person, they are all important, and you will eventually meet them in person. (I know this sounds odd to be friends with someone you haven’t met, but roll with me here, it’ll be clear to you soon enough.)
Oh, and when you’re writing in your journal, could you try writing about the good things as well as all the bad stuff? Reading those journals now, you sound like some kind of whiny, angst ridden teenager. Seriously, life wasn’t ALL bad. Celebrate the good by writing it down. I know that you work out the crap by writing about it. But share the good too would you?
In the end what I want to say is, be good to yourself. You deserve happiness, love, and to be treated well. You are beautiful inside and out. Yes, you ARE, don’t fight with me. I’m an old woman who knows more than you do. Enjoy the next 20 years of living, go crazy, do all kinds of things. You have no regrets so, live it up. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get here.
