My dearest Diet Coke,
You are so loyal and beautiful and I have repaid you by turning to another. I am deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused you. You have always been there for me. Even when I was in another country and couldn’t get iced tea, I could find you.
The Diet Dr Pepper was on sale, I am a whore for a good deal. I know this is just a fleeting affair. The Dr is always so elusive and fickle. Its mystery is what draws me in. One day I will learn my lesson, and when he takes a hike I’ll turn to you and you’ll be there for me. I know you are my true love, my Imzadi.
Please forgive me, Diet Coke, I want to be your one and only. Will you let me?