These last two weeks of November usually suck hard for me. This year it’s the 21st anniversary of my Mom’s death and the 17th anniversary of my Dad’s. I never got to know them as an adult. I may have been in my early 20s, but as many of us know that’s not even remotely adult knowledge of life much less seeing that your parents as people. I still have that slightly jaded child view of who my parents were. Even with my adult knowledge of life, it’s hard not to see them that way.
I sometimes think about where I would be if they were alive. If they were still alive today, my life would be totally different. I’m certain I wouldn’t know most of the amazing people I know today. I have no idea if I’d have a career or just a “job”. Would they approve of my choices? Would we have had some kind of blow-out fight and stopped talking?
I try not to dwell on the loss but instead look at what I learned and how that experience shaped me and made me who I am today. This way I can keep moving forward and embrace the love we shared.
This year has been so much less sucky for me. I attribute that to all the new and amazing friends I’ve made in the past 21 years as well as the ones I’ve kept for 21+ years.
So, with Thanksgiving around the corner, here is what I am thankful for:
- Each and every person who has come and gone from my life.
- The amazing people who have seen right through my shit and loved me anyway.
- Everyone who has called me out on my shit.
- Those who helped me move forward, when all I wanted to do was fall down and never get up.
- All of you who have pushed me to realize I can do and have more.
- All of you who have laughed and cried with me.
- Each and every one of you who have hugged me.
In short, I’m thankful for everyone who has loved me and treated me as my parents would have.