Why would your “friend” do this to you? Well, are they REALLY your friend? Are you SURE? Do they only “sorta” like you? Is it a family member? Yeah, there are any number of reasons why someone would put you on the restricted list.  I’m sure you’re wondering now why they left you as a friend. Well, chances are they figured you’re less likely to notice being put on the restricted list than being unfriended completely. Or maybe they want to snoop on you. If it really bothers you, ask the person directly. If they are really your friend it wont be such a big deal and being honest and direct is always a good plan when it comes to talking to your friends.

Want to add someone to your restricted list? Well, from the menu on the left sidebar go down to the bottom where it says Lists. There may be list options, click on the word Lists. (in the image to the right I’ve put a red box around where it can be found).  From there you’ll go to the lists menu, click on the Restricted list and from that page you can add people.

The box on the right side of the screen is where you type in a friend’s name and add them to the list. You can add as many people as you want, they wont get any kind of notification. And chances are, they wont notice unless they only have like 10 friends total and don’t follow any pages or subscribe to any famous people’s feeds.

If you’re really paranoid about what they can see, you can view your profile as that friend and then you’ll see what they see. Depending on whether or not you’ve got the new timeline feature there are two ways to do this. Both start by going to your profile page. Then, if you still have the old profile there’s a button at the top right that says “View As…” if you click the button you’ll get an option to type in any friend’s name. Just type in the friend you’ve put on the restricted list. If you’ve got the new Timeline it’s a little bit harder to find. It’s still on the right, under your cover image, under the drop down where the gear is located. Same thing from there, type the friend’s name in the box and you’ll be able to see what they have access to. This works for ANY friend by the way. If you’re concerned about what a particular friend can see this is a good way to check it out.

Keep in mind, if you’ve got your default setting for posts to Public everyone will see it… everyone on the internet who can find your profile. So if this concerns you, use that little drop down next to the Post button when posting an update. You can also post things to people ONLY on a specific list. So if you’re posting something controversial and don’t want to offend Grandma or start a fight with your Tea Party friends, make a list for only the people who will appreciate those things. Got a lot of friends who love cats? Got some who are dog people and have been hating on all your cat posts? Then make a list of the cat lovers and start posting things to only the cat lovers. Or post it only to the dog lovers to annoy them, the possibilities are endless.

Does that help you all? Any questions? I’m happy to answer whatever questions you have.

Happy New Year everyone, may all your Facebook friends be real and true friends!

I hoped my wallet had just fallen out of my bag and some lovely person would mail it back to me. I did call the credit bureau they said they’d notify the others and I got a letter in the mail saying they had. I also contacted my bank and put a super secret password in place on my account. Then I continued about my business.

Over the weekend, though, I got a letter in the mail from Sears telling me my credit sucks so I can’t get a credit card. I thought, WTF? I haven’t been in a Sears in YEARS. Why on earth would I want a credit card?  I then realized those bastards who stole my wallet thought I had decent credit. Did they not notice that I have no credit cards?? Hello Dumbasses!  Well, after talking to my brother and being told some horror stories, I went to the police station and filed a police report so I could cover my ass. I then called the FTC as well as Trans Union, the credit bureau listed on the letter from Sears.  Well, it turns out that although Equifax (who I called the Monday after  my wallet was gone) said they’d tell the others, they didn’t actually tell the other bureaus that my stuff was stolen. If you are ever in this position, call TransUnion first, you actually get a person on the phone. Equifax is all automated, never do you get a human.

I ran my credit report and I saw that these jackwagons went to Sprint and AT&T as well.   I called Sprint to make sure they didn’t give these people anything (they did not) and I called AT&T to be sure as well. Since I do have AT&T home service already I was worried they may have given these idiots a phone or something and then I’d be stuck with the bill. A very lovely woman named Elizabeth helped me and gave me the number to their fraud department (If you think someone is trying to get AT&T service with your info call 866-718-2011)  The thieves did not get anything from AT&T with my info, thank goodness.

If you lose your wallet or it gets stolen, or if you think your identity has been stolen here’s what you need to do:

Call your bank first – hopefully they’re awesome like my bank and you get a human on the phone without pushing buttons. I honestly have no idea if anything with my bank account number was in my wallet, so they put a super secret password on my account.

Call the credit bureaus – all three of them. Don’t believe them when they say they will contact the others for you.

TransUnion

Equifax

Experian

Each of them have a way to report fraud online. TransUnion was the only one that  I called and actually  reached a person. I’d certainly start with them. If you’ve got the option to make these places call you to confirm that you’re the one applying for credit, do it. Experian has it on their online form, but you’ve got to check the box to make it appear. I did not see anything like that on Equifax’s form. TransUnion asked me if I wanted the option.

Call the FTC – 1-877-438-4338 Make sure it’s on file with them that your information was stolen. It will help you in your fight to prove your identity was stolen.

File a police report – I know it seems like a hassle to go to the police. Especially in a city like Chicago where they don’t even pull you over for turning right from the left hand lane in front of a police officer (I saw it happen!!).  But, in Illinois if your ID is lost or stolen and you have a police report you don’t pay the fine to get your ID replaced. Also, it’s something you’ll need when calling the FTC – they ask for the police report number.

And finally, keep written notes of dates and times when you did all of this. Also write down who you talked to at each place, the officer’s name who took the report (if it is not on the police report you received), and everything else you deem worthy of writing down.  Put all of this in a very safe place. Check your credit report immediately and then check it each year. Keep an eye on everything you get in the mail. Even if you think it’s junk, open it and look it over. I thought that Sears letter was junk but something made me open it. If you see someone submitted your info to any kind of lender or potential creditor, call them and make sure no one got credit that wasn’t you. I feel that I’m lucky that my credit is completely shot or I’d be fighting with a few places right now.

Check your wallet and purse right now, what’s in it that doesn’t need to be there? Take it out put it in a safe place and make sure you know where that safe place is because you don’t want to lose it. Also, if you carry your money, ID and bus pass in the same place – that’s going to bite you on the ass. Keep each one in a separate spot. Luckily my bus card was in a separate pocket of my bag and not in my wallet. I was still able to get home.

I need to ask myself this question far more often.  The past couple of weeks I allowed this fear of failure to get in my way. I made all kinds of excuses and talked myself out of doing my project for class. The only person I was hurting was me. Why did I let this fear of failure take over? I spent Monday & Tuesday of this week working on the project and aside from a much deeper belief that CSS was created to torment me, it was nothing. It was the easy-peasy thing I KNEW it would be, but still, that fear stopped me in my tracks. I turned in my assignment before checking it in other browsers. Luckily IE is the only one it doesn’t work in but if you’re still using IE you’re an idiot anyway and should die a terrible horrible painful death. Seriously people, grow some balls, install Chrome or FireFox or Opera, your life will be better for it. TRUST ME I’m a web developer in training!

Back to the topic of fear…

Fear the BEHOLDER!

Back to the fear and failure topic…  We all suffer from fear. What we fear is this thing that in our minds becomes this huge monstrous beast that will torment you and tear you limb from limb and eat your entrails while you take your final breaths. But the reality is never nearly as awful as what we create out of fear. Overcoming the fear is the hardest part. Realizing that what we’re afraid of will never be nearly as bad as what we create in our minds about the situation is really hard. Once you let go of the fear, you can move forward and as you take those first steps, you realize it was never going to be as bad as you were imagining. Why do we constantly do this to ourselves? Why do we create these monsters that stop us from finding joy and happiness? Why do we keep holding ourselves back? Are we really afraid of success? Is being happy such a terrible prospect? Don’t you think you deserve to be happy and successful?

Imagine a hero!

The mighty paladin rolls a crit and gets max damage!

Your imagination is a powerful thing, like all powerful things you need to use it for good. Instead of creating a monster, create a mighty hero, a vanquisher of evil. This warrior will fight to the death on your behalf. He has no fear. Imagine the most awesome things that will happen with this warrior fighting for you. Don’t focus on what can go wrong, focus on what WILL go RIGHT. Focus on what will be amazing as you move forward. Don’t focus on failure, focus on success. Feel that success in the fiber of your being.   Embrace that success and make it real. Ask yourself: what would you do if you knew you could not fail? When you focus on success, in the end, you can only succeed because you wont give up until you do.

small journal

I have an addiction to blank books. Even just ordinary notebooks, I can’t seem to go into an office supply store without leaving empty handed. Most often it is some kind of note book that I buy. This weekend I went to the Printers Row Lit Fest and I found this awesome new leather bound journal at one of the vendors there. I saw the array of books they had and I just could not leave without buying one.  The one I picked out isn’t that big. All hand made, even the paper inside.

look how much paper!

Now I just need help figuring out what to do with it. It has a TON of paper, unlined. It’s small enough to carry around all the time. So what do I do with it? Do I write important school web coding notes in it? Do I write my thoughts down? Shopping lists? Help me out.. what do I do with this awesome journal?

On thing to report is that I was accepted to the Chicago Career Tech program. I will get training from them and they pay you for the training. It’ll be a 6 day a week thing for the next 6 months but I’ll get certified in whatever it is and learn some cool stuff. The whole orientation is at the end of May so I’ll know more about all of it in a month.

Now, if  spring would just arrive for real I’ll be SUPER happy…

Back in the day my friend and I would drive into the city, to some trendy neighborhood, and hang out at clubs and bars. I was never really sure how I got to these places, driving in circles looking for parking, never really knowing street names or exits. We had a handful of places we’d go each weekend, sometimes week nights depending on what was going on, and we’d have a blast. I always drove and I was always a responsible driver. I thought all of these places had shut down or changed names and I’d never see or pass them again.

Photo by Tammy Green

A couple of weeks ago while wandering around the city, I turned a corner and there was a night club I had a “VIP Pass” for back in the day, NEO. I think the pass got me some kind of discount on drinks, or maybe I didn’t have to pay a cover charge I don’t really remember.  I loved the music they played at Neo. The atmosphere was rather lacking though, it was dark and the door was hidden down an alley. It was crazy loud and impossible to talk to people, much less order a drink from the bartender. The crowd was mostly goth and they didn’t seem too terribly welcoming. Kinda like the hipsters of today. But going there was SO MUCH BETTER than hanging out at any of the places in the suburbs. I may have been the only one in jeans and a sweatshirt, but at least I wasn’t one of the only two people in the entire place.

Photo by Tammy Green

Seeing Neo reminded me of how I felt 18 years ago when I was hanging out at these places.  I thought it’d be  totally cool if I lived “downtown” and  I wanted so badly to have a place of my own. I dreamed about going out every night and hanging out and meeting people and DOING STUFF. Plus, if I lived in the city, I wouldn’t have worry about driving all the way back to the suburbs and how late it would be when I got home. The nights always felt like they ended too early because of the drive back out to the suburbs. Living in the city would mean that I could walk or take a bus and I could stay out later. And maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to waste time finding a parking spot or worrying about getting towed.

My alumni newsletter tells me of an event at Neo. They’re doing an 80s New Wave night as a fundraiser for a scholarship. Although I was too young to legally go to this club in the 80s, that’s what I’d love to go hear at that club. Naturally, the event is on a Thursday night. But the beauty of being self-employed means I can party all night on Thursday and arrange any work on Friday until later in the day when I’ve recovered from the night before.

Out the kitchen window

I can’t even see my weather brick, it’s buried in snow. I guess that means we had a blizzard?  I updated my pictures on Flickr last night and again this morning feel free to go take a look.  I may venture out later on and trudge through the big knee high drifts to see how things look out front. But for now I’m staying in. As I took pictures of the back porch windows, the cats both decided to go check things out. I didn’t notice they wandered out there And as I shut the door I heard Mabel cry so I opened the door and let her back in. I looked around for Ishtar but didn’t see her. So I shut the screen door and the big door and came inside. Mabel was acting funny so I started searching inside for Ishtar, didn’t find her. This isn’t unusual, she likes to hide and burrow. Mabel kept acting odd as if telling me, “you know she’s out on the porch, right?” So I opened the door back there to check on her and she looked up at me through the screen. I open the door and say “What are you doing out there?!” and she quietly scurried inside. Luckily she didn’t wander up the stairs to the 2nd floor. That porch is not insulated and it’s chilly out there!

Unfortunately I had to go to work at the retail job. Starting your year working, is a good thing. But by 2pm the day had turned to shit. The girl scheduled to be the cashier for the evening was a no-call/no-show. Well….she called….but at like 5pm. 3 hours AFTER she was meant to start. Since I was the only person other than the manager trained to work the register, I was the cashier for the evening. So my department (apparel – which is like half the store) was the biggest trash heap of the new decade.  And the guys working the floor did very little to keep up with it while I rang on the register for 4 hours non-stop (yeah, I didn’t get a lunch break.)

So I just want to say this, if you have a job, whether it is working retail or at a factory for minimum wage, helping a friend for free, at a company where they pay you a full on salary, or whatever… You have a responsibility not only to the employer, but the other employees to show up and do the job they have chosen to employ you to do. If you feel this job isn’t worthy of you, then quit so they can hire someone who will bother to show up. I don’t care if you just didn’t feel like coming in,  if your car was stolen, if you’re really sick or if you’re still too high to show up. When you know you’re not coming in you call and tell them. You give them PLENTY of time to find someone else. You don’t make them track your ass down through other employees, because you’ve changed your number. In this age of cell phones, even if your phone was stolen or dead, you can find a phone to call on.  If your car REALLY was stolen, then you knew HOURS before you were scheduled that you  wouldn’t make it in. Hell, the house you were staying in had people with phones and possibly even a land line to call your employer with to say, “dude, my car was stolen, I’m in the city I wont be in.” If you’re old enough to own a car, you’re old enough to act like a responsible adult, especially where your job is concerned.

You may live with Mommy & Daddy, but you are old enough to be employed, own a car and drink… be old enough to take responsibility for your actions so that you don’t screw other people over.

Yeah…. happy new year…. I’m starting it off pissed…. thanks a lot you self absorbed child…

Day 1: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Bittersweet

2010 was bittersweet because I had a job, then I didn’t. Things were great, then they sucked.

I want the word for 2011 to be AWESOME.

Day 2: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

Well, I’d say everything contributes to writing (or creativity if you want to change that limiting word thank you Adrienne). Reading contributes to your writing (creativity), watching TV, riding the bus, driving to work, being at work, interacting with people, spending time alone, listening to music, taking a shower. I’d say the only thing that doesn’t contribute, is just not sitting down and doing it more often.

Day 3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

It was the moment I decided to make an incredibly difficult but exciting phone call. The fear combined with speaking my truth had my entire body resonating. The fear and excitement was the most alive I’ve ever felt. I was outside, it was a bit chilly and windy. And I’d kinda rather keep the rest of the details to myself… sorry, not gunna share.

Day 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I’m not sure I did cultivate a sense of wonder in my life this year. I think the last sense of wonder I had was on the road trip. I think for next year, what I need to do is figure out how to cultivate the sense of wonder and also, find a way to live each day as an adventure.

I’ve  learned that there are people who just choose to be angry and annoyed. But the ones who are quietly annoyed are worse than the ones openly angry. It’s like they’re silently judging you. They chose to attempt to train me on the register last night. I’ve worked a register before, but that was like 20+ years ago. It’s only the technology that is different so I did pick up on it pretty quickly. This girl was so pissy standing in my line as I scanned her item and gave her the total. It was like she was thinking, “ugh, this stupid old woman has to be MY cashier? She’s going to do this all wrong and she is so slow. She’s obviously stupid if she has to work here.” So I responded with my own thoughts, “look girlie, I’m college educated and I’ve got more professional experience than you’ve got years on this planet. Get over your damned self and be happy you’ve got money to buy shit you don’t really need.”

Yeah I’m sure she was most likely thinking, “I’ve got places to go and things to do hurry this up so I can get out of here.” But that’s not quite how it felt to me. Her sighs of impatience hit where it hurts.  However, the next customer in line started with, “I’ll be much friendlier than her.”  So I know it wasn’t just me being over sensitive.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve worked retail. Standing for 5+ hours non-stop is NOT cool. My legs, ankles and back ache after about the first 3 hours of working. At the end of the night when I sit down in my car I can feel every muscle/joint in my body screaming. How do you re-train your body to handle this kind of thing? Does anyone have tips on soothing these aching parts? I’ve put insoles into my gym shoes (yes I get to wear my gym shoes to work), I’ve gotten some compression socks. What else can I do? The past few days I’ve worked I haven’t taken my 10 min break because I’m afraid if I do sit down it will be even more difficult to get up and stand for the rest of my shift. Any help with this kind of thing would be deeply appreciated.