Hey you,

Yeah, it’s me. I’m about 3 months away from celebrating our 2nd annual 39th birthday. Yes, I’m calling it that…mostly because our 39th birthday was pretty frickin’ lame. There’s nothing you can do about it though, so start planning now to celebrate 39 a second time and try to do it up big.

With that said, I’m not sure what to say to you. I keep having flashes of Diane Court in Say Anything giving her valedictorian speech saying, “I’ve glimpsed our future and all I can say is, GO BACK.”  I’m not saying it sucks here on the brink of a new decade of life, but from where you are to where I am now, it’s hard. Really, really hard. I don’t want to scare you, it’s not just 20 years of suck. There are amazing things ahead, but for each amazing thing, it seems you’ve got to endure some serious shit.  I’m sorry. None of it is any of your doing. It’s just what life throws at you. There’s nothing you can do to change any of it so just accept it and keep going. Sure there are some things I’d like to tell you to avoid, but those things are what makes me who I am now. I’m OK with who I am right now. OK, maybe you should drink more water, and try to save more money. But aside from that, things are what they are; you’ve got to take the bad if you want the good.

Keep in mind you don’t have to shoulder everything all alone. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You can ask for help, there’s nothing weak about asking for help. And speaking of weak, it’s OK to cry. Really. You aren’t a cry baby, you aren’t going to be laughed at, and you will be able to stop. I know you think it makes you look weak, but there’s nothing weak about crying. There will come a day, when the shit really hits the fan and you won’t be able to control it any longer. You will cry with such pain, the sound will terrify you. But don’t worry; you will be able to stop. You’ll pull yourself together and you will be able to move on. I just wonder if you cried more in the past if that moment wouldn’t have been so terrifying.

You are amazing at finding and keeping friends. It may not feel like it, but it’s true. Keep treating people right and learn to lean on them. You have collected the most amazing group of friends. You will surround yourself with people who care about you, who love you and want the best for you. Sometimes it won’t sound like it, but really, they do. Those people are telling you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, that’s what makes them your friend. No matter how far away these people are, keep them close to your heart. Even if they are people you haven’t met in person, they are all important, and you will eventually meet them in person. (I know this sounds odd to be friends with someone you haven’t met, but roll with me here, it’ll be clear to you soon enough.)

Oh, and when you’re writing in your journal, could you try writing about the good things as well as all the bad stuff? Reading those journals now, you sound like some kind of whiny, angst ridden teenager. Seriously, life wasn’t ALL bad. Celebrate the good by writing it down. I know that you work out the crap by writing about it. But share the good too would you?

In the end what I want to say is, be good to yourself. You deserve happiness, love, and to be treated well. You are beautiful inside and out. Yes, you ARE, don’t fight with me. I’m an old woman who knows more than you do. Enjoy the next 20 years of living, go crazy, do all kinds of things. You have no regrets so, live it up. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get here.

This is supposed to be funny?

This was today’s Brevity comic. Usually I find this comic to be amusing but today I thought it was just offensive. Am I supposed to expect that because he is fat he wants the whipped cream? Is this meant to be funny because we could think, “oh he’s fat he shouldn’t have it but he wants it?”

Honestly, a fat guy being asked if he wants whipped cream…is that the joke there? So a skinny guy being asked the same question wouldn’t be funny?

This just really annoys me. Fat people are stereotyped as being gluttonous, lazy, and eating nothing but junk food. If I were asked the question I’d say no, I don’t want whipped cream. Not because it’s unhealthy but because whipped cream makes me sick, and because I don’t particularly like the taste.

Let’s not make jokes about fat people and their eating habits. You, Mr Skinnypants don’t know jack shit about anyone’s eating habits but your own. What people eat is none of your business, so just STFU.

The comic pictured is property of guy & rodd dist by UFS, Inc. In no way am I implying I own this image by posting it here.

In other news, I’m going to attempt to do a detoxifying cleanse. I’ve never done one before and I found one that allows you to eat food while you’re on the cleanse so you will never be hungry. I think I’ll be OK with it. You make green juice out of whatever green vegetables you want (they recommend kale, celery, cucumber, wheat grass and sprouts) and drink that all day. In addition to the juice you’re allowed to eat raw vegetables.  No processed foods, no refined sugar, no animal flesh, no grains. It sounds like I can have fruit, which I’m excited about cuz I love fruit. As many know my views of fruit is it’s like eating fun. Fruit is a tasty piece of excitement in your mouth. I don’t know how anyone could not like fruit. The only fruit I don’t care for is grapefruit. It’s just too sour, never liked the stuff. Is coconut a fruit? I don’t care for the texture of coconut. But all other fruits, I love them.  And for those who know my insanity of being a picky eater, I feel safe with this cleanse since they want you to eat raw vegetables. The variety of raw vegetables I like is a much longer list than that of the cooked veg that I will eat. When I learned you could eat salad without salad dressing I was amazed at how salad was actually good. Yeah, I wouldn’t touch any salad dressing when I was a kid. It all looked really gross to me.  I think the one thing I’ll miss the most during the next two weeks is peanut butter. Oh how I LOVE peanut butter. And lately I’ve taken to baking bread. Although, the latest loaf taught me that you can’t rush bread and you really should start baking early in the morning. You need to give it time to rise, you can’t jump forward to the next step if you don’t let it rise. The bread still tasted good, it is just pretty dense.

If you want to follow along with the cleanse experience you can read about it over on the Finding Thin blog. Starting Monday is the “pre-cleanse” and then the following week is the actual cleanse.  Yeah, two weeks without my beloved PB&J…how will I survive? And yeah, no soda either! I’ve finished the last of it that was in the house, so.. it’s only water now. Maybe some herbal tea if I’m really craving something. So please, join me over at the Finding Thin blog and follow along.

Train always wins

Every day this week the trains have been totally fracked up on the way home. It’s enough to make me want to drive to work everyday. Today, there was a “broken rail” in Hinsdale, and then after the rail was fixed a “broken switch” at Cicero. Which caused the 5:38 train to show up at the station around 6:09 then by the time the train hit the very first stop at Lagrange, it hit a car. Yo Master D was sound asleep, snoring. I woke him up to alert him to the even longer delay we were to expect. We called people, tried to call a cab. Found someone to come get us at the Borders across the street. Yes I know a long delay killing time at Borders is hazardous to my bank account. I was able to restrain myself to only 2 books. One book I’ve been wanting for a very long time. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore. I’ve read his first book, Practical Demonkeeping. It was very funny. I can’t wait to start on this one. However, I’m still in the midde of 4th of July by James Patterson. Although I’m sure I’ll finish this very quickly.
But I digress.
It is starting to feel like there’s some sort of train/person/car accident every week. What is with people today? They KNOW that’s a commuter train crossing, they know these things run like clockwork. What is with people trying to bypass the gates? What’s the frickin hurry!? Can’t you wait the 3 minutes it takes for the train to pull up, drop people off and continue on it’s way?
We all know that when it comes down to it, you vs train…the train is gunna win. So c’mon people, just stop and wait. If you’re late…you can’t be less late by trying to beat a train. Work will still be there if you pause to let the train go through. The same can’t be said for your car if you get in the way of the train. Being late sucks, but not as much as being dead.