Heh… my geek is showing and I don’t care.  Just wanted to check in on Star Wars Day to say hello and update you on the absolute nothing that is going on here in my world. I hope you all have a great Friday and party like a Jedi.

He was such a trooper dealing with the pissy antics of Mabel, dealing with living in this dark cave of an apartment, and sleeping on my totally shit-assed couch. Ishtar warmed up to him quickly, although I think that was in part due to his feeding her chicken. Ishtar does warm up to people much faster than grouchy old Mabel does though. He even put up with my messed up moodiness due to “aunt flo” and the pneumonia. The pneumonia is pretty much gone, but the coughing lingers and I still sound like I’ve been a smoker since the age of 6. I don’t know if I’d call it a “sexy husky voice” though.

I was sad to see him go. But at the same time, I’ve lived alone for so long, having my space to myself is nice. Eating popcorn for dinner without someone asking me, “is that all you’re eating?” is a relief. And I have to admit, as soon as he was gone, I turned off the beacons. Yes, I am a mole person who lives in a dark cave. All that light… ugh… What is wrong with you, Jim?!?!  Miss you!!

I'm dyin' ova' here!

Ugh… Last Thursday I had a bit of a scratchy throat and a sniffly nose. I didn’t think much of it. I got home and laid on the couch with tea and NyQuil. The next day I was hacking and felt like ass. By Saturday I had a temperature and I was a mess.

Sunday was all about not moving from the couch. Luckily I had HBO for free last weekend and I got to watch a marathon of Game of Thrones all day.  Just when I thought I was getting better the cough took hold and would not let go.  I was forced to go to a doctor. I went to the “Take Care Clinic” in Walgreens. Their nurse practitioner, Tiffany, was incredibly nice and very sympathetic each time I hacked up a piece of lung. I had a 100 degree fever and didn’t even realize it.

Turns out I have pneumonia. So, you all better steer clear until these antibiotics kick in and start kicking bacterial pneumonia ass. I’m hoping that I can get some sleep these next couple of days because I’m tired of being exhausted and not getting to sleep for all the hacking of this stupid cough. I had pneumonia the beginning of my senior year of high school. I was out for, I think it was 2 weeks.  I had been working at Wright’s Barnyard (an arcade & mini-golf place in town, now long closed and forgotten) and I was coughing like crazy, but I was all dressed and ready to go to work.

My mom said, “where do you think you’re going?”

“I have to work,” I told her.

“You’re not going anywhere.” She called them and told them that I was too sick to go anywhere. The next day was a visit to the doctor, with x-rays of my lungs and a diagnosis. This was followed by lots of soup and not being comfortable at all in bed as I hacked and coughed.

Popsicles, cough drops, and water are my best friends. I’ve been consuming all three like they’re going out of style. Lying down makes it impossible to breathe and sitting up makes it impossible to fall asleep. When I do sleep, I wake up moments later covered in sweat, my body shaking from the cough.

I hope you are all healthy and happy, enjoying great weather and being outdoors doing awesome stuff. I will be lying on my couch half asleep and half watching this marathon of How It’s Made.

How often have you allowed other people to help you?

Think about it, how would you feel if you reached out to help someone and they said, “No thanks, I got it. I’m okay.” You can see that they clearly need help but their sense of pride is getting in the way of your good deed. Would you create a story in your head about how ungrateful that person is or would you tell others what a fool he was to not accept your help? The last time someone offered to do something for you, did you tell them no? What was your reason? How did you feel when you said no to that person?

How would it feel if you opened yourself up to receive?

I challenge you to be open to accepting the help of others. It may feel humbling at first, it may feel “wrong” in some way like you can’t accept. Practice saying thank you right now. If you don’t open your heart to the wonders of the universe, all that goodness can’t come in. For every good deed you do, be open to accepting the good deed that another person wants to do for you. Start saying, “Yes, thank you,” to the people around you. Take “no” out of your vocabulary and see what amazing things can start to unfold for you. Most of all, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. If you are uncomfortable asking other people, start by asking God. Say a prayer to your higher power and ask. The Powers That Be can’t help you if you don’t ask.  You’d be amazed at how wonderful it feels when you let go of that pride and let other people help you. Being open to receiving really brings your awareness to the good that is in this world. It shows you how much you are loved. If you want proof that you are not alone ask for help and open yourself up to receiving. You don’t have to face everything alone, there are people out there who want to help you and they want to show you how much they care.

Is it time for you to stop being strong and lean on others?

Another show I’m intrigued with is Awake on NBC. LA cop Mike Britten (played by Jason Isaacs) is in a car accident and is torn between two realities, one in which his wife survived the crash and his son died, the other in which the opposite is true. As Britten says, “I’m awake with my wife, I close my eyes, and I’m awake with my son.”  In order to keep things straight, he wears a red rubber band on his wrist when he’s with his wife and a green one when he’s with his son.  He is investigating completely different cases with different partners in each reality and he’s also seeing two different therapists. Both therapists insist that they are the real one. Only one episode has aired so far, but I like it. I like the “what’s real?” type of story. They’re doing this very well, they have planted some things along the way making you think one reality is clearly a dream and then they pop in something to make you guess again. BD Wong is the therapist he is seeing in the wife reality, it’s good to see him back on TV.   I’ve got some theories about what’s going on, but I’ll wait to see what they throw our way as this season unfolds. All I can do is hope I don’t get sucked in just to learn they’ve canceled the show. I’m rather skittish with getting my hopes up for this one since they delayed the premiere for so long and made the first episode widely available online before they aired it. That worries me, making me think they don’t have faith that it will get the viewers it needs to keep going.

The last show that I’ve been seeking out is Lost Girl on Syfy. It’s in its third season up in Canada. It’s a supernatural crime drama in which the lead character, Bo, is a succubus. She learns in the first episode what she is and is forced to choose a side. Naturally, there are light Fae and dark Fae, but Bo wont choose a side, she wants to stay neutral. Who wouldn’t want to stay neutral when entering a world creatures with super powers you can’t even begin to understand? Last thing you want is to find out you’ve picked the wrong side. Bo has an awesome side-kick named Kenzi who has been getting by in life as a scam-artist. The chemistry between the two main characters is a lot of fun to watch and I love how Kenzi changes her hair in practically every scene. I’m still trying to figure out what her real hair looks like, since every hairstyle she has looks like a wig. This is such a fun show and I’m really enjoying it. I’m just glad that Syfy is airing the original Canadian show, rather than a remake. It just seems like so many networks want to redo the original for the American audience. When they do that they lose something and the show just falls flat and that is always disappointing. Knowing it’s got three seasons already makes me happy. I just hope Syfy airs them all.

What shows are you watching? Have you seen any of these? What do you think? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to hear your opinion!

Her: Not sure but he’s really greasy

Me: Yeah

Her: I think he’s related to Jimmy.

Dear Dude Upstairs,

I heard you were moving out this evening. I really hope we get a chance to talk before you go. You’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks. If there’s one thing I hate it’s an avoider.  Look, you know you did something wrong, you know that what you did hurt me (and my electronics) so own up to it and come talk to me. What do you think I’m going to do, beat you with my bat? What will that solve? Did I yell at you when this whole mess took place? No, I didn’t, I was pretty calm and I was nicer than any person you will ever encounter again would be in this situation. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve got a temper. But I know when to let it loose and when to control it. This is not a situation where getting angry will solve anything. I know that screaming at you will not help anything.

I am not an unreasonable person. If you come talk to me we can reach an agreement. I understand that between me and Al there’s a lot of money you owe because of this whole mess. I’m pretty sure you don’t have that kind of money just lying around to give to people. We could sort something out, but you’ve got to come home before 1am so that we can talk like the adults I know we both are. I can’t talk to you if you’re never around. We can’t work this out if you continue avoid me.

Own up to what you did, you know you’re at fault. Suck it up and come talk to me.

Thank you,

The girl who lives downstairs.

So around 4am today I heard this weird dripping/slurping/wet noise. Having cats, I immediately got up to find out what they were doing. As soon as I got to the kitchen I found the floor wet under my feet and a stream of water coming down from the ceiling. Within seconds of stepping into the bathroom to grab towels a deluge of water burst from the ceiling causing a lake in my kitchen and the small hallway.

I stood in shock forcing thoughts to enter my brain so that I could sort out what to do.  I immediately threw on pants and shoes and ran upstairs to pound on Dude’s door. I knocked and knocked for what felt like an eternity. I could hear him on the other side wondering if he should open the door so I called out,

“This is Pattie from downstairs. I’m sorry to wake you but I’ve got a flood in my kitchen. I think you should check your kitchen for water too.”

“OK, give me a minute I’ll be right down.”

So I went back to my apartment and carefully plodded through the puddle of water grabbing every towel I own to sop up the mess. My shitty mop is one of those rag mops that you have to wet first to get it to do anything. It was so frickin useless. I found a bucket and placed it under the pouring water coming from the gaping hole in my ceiling.

And to top it all off, my good laptop was sitting on the kitchen table right under the other leak, next to it was my cell phone… It seemed to be on…but the touch screen would not accept any touch as I tried to unlock it. Shortly after it shut its self off.

When dude showed up with two towels and saw the damage I asked if he had our landlord’s phone number. He said he did not and then begged me not to call him. I pointed at the hole in the ceiling and exclaimed, “He’s gunna know!” I mean seriously, you want ME to pay for that damage when I move out? Screw you, you sandwich eater!

I went to chick upstairs front and asked her if she could give me Al’s phone number.  I called and apologized for waking him, told him what was going on he said he’d be over shortly. I heard Dude leave the building just minutes before Al showed up. Al went and got the key to dude’s place and went in to check the damages asking me to come with him. Dude’s kitchen looked pretty clean, but I could see spots of wet here and there. Al pointed at some contraption on the counter and said, “This is it.. this is what did it.”

I don’t know what this thing is for.. but it has two compartments, one was labeled “Sediment”  I can’t remember what the other was called. There was a hose attached to the kitchen faucet and he had some odd adapter hooked to the sink there. Knowing what I know about him… I suspect this is connected to some kind of “growing” or maybe “brewing” system. The hallway smells like freshly cut grass.

Luckily, I forgot the towel behind the bathroom door on the trick towel rack. So I have a towel to use when I shower. I now must go wash ALL my towels.

Al is going to make Dude pay for whatever needs replacing, thank you Al!  But seriously… I’m SO TIRED of this crap.. Really?!?

God, what did I do? I know you think I’m strong and all, but there’s only so much a girl can take until she breaks. Please, give me some kinda signal that this shit is done raining down on me.

And to embarrass them further here are Mom and Dad

The other night I caught an episode of Would You Rather? on BBC America. It’s a show in which Graham Norton asks a panel of comedians that no one has heard of (aside from maybe Scott Adsit or Alan Cumming) insane and stupid questions. One of the questions they asked was:

Would you rather make an obscene phone call to your mother once a week or get a text message from your father every time he was horny?

I said to myself, “Both my parents are dead so this question is lame.”

But then I thought about it more as I listened to the the panel’s answers. Within the context of the question, if I could speak to my mother once a week from beyond the grave, but I had to start each conversation with an obscene phone call…would I do that? Or would I rather get a text message from beyond the grave from Dad, but only when he’s horny?

Let’s start with talking to Mom…

I couldn’t do this. You see, I absolutely SUCK at the dirty talk. When I “turn on teh sexxaay” I’ve been known to say things such as, “sure?” “if you want to?” “I guess so?” Yes, all these things end with a question mark! And the sexiest thing I’ve ever said… yeah, I said this out loud, to a man as the sexy time started… “If we’re going to do this, I have to remove my tampon.” To his credit, he replied, “go do what you gotta do.” While in the bathroom I stared in the mirror appalled at myself at how insanely awkward I am and said, “THIS is why you are single!” So, yeah, no… I’d rather not go through that WITH MY MOM. I’d prefer to keep things silent.

Dad on the other hand…

This could be a fun game. I am a texting fiend. I have the full QWERTY keyboard and unlimited texting plan because I text more than I talk on the phone. If my phone company had roll over minutes, I could talk until the day I die and I would never run out of minutes.

This would be awesome:

“Chimey chime chime!” Says my phone.

OOH! Is it DAD or…. Oh… just my sister with a cute photo of my niece.

“Chimey chime chime!”

Is it Dad or…. oh… It’s JZ asking me if I’m free for lunch.

“Chimey chime chime!”

Me and Dad, about the time this story took place

That would be fun!  But you know what’s even more fun… Knowing it’s MY DAD. See… my dad was extremely uncomfortable with me and my sisters. He would NEVER bring up any sex talk. If we were to tell him a dirty joke, he would not laugh and he’d act like it was just awful. He would not acknowledge we even had body parts. My favorite story of how embarrassed my dad got around us… oh yeah… this one:

To begin you need to know these things – I have always had an an ample bosom. Most girls started with a training bra, I was 11 and had a B cup. To hide this fact I wore extremely baggy clothing all the time. I was about 22 and my favorite shirt was this huge hand-me-down navy blue sweatshirt that had navy blue embroidery.  It was well worn and the embroidery was the same exact color as the fabric of the shirt creating this odd wrinkled, lumpiness on the front. Also, by this point I was up to a DD cup thinking baggy clothes would hide those suckers.

My sister and her husband were at the dining room table talking with my dad. I came down the stairs and stood across the table from him listening to the conversation. My father stopped and looked at me, “What are those lumps on your shirt?”

I looked down and then I looked up at him, cocked my head to the side and said, very matter-of-fact, “those are my breasts, Dad.”

My sister and her husband busted a gut, laughing so hard. I thought they might fall out of their chairs. My father turned every shade of red that exists on this planet and would not look at me. I was mortified. I could NOT believe I acknowledged the existence my breasts to my father! I could not figure out how my “you’re talking to your dad” filter had malfunctioned so epically. I felt I had to do something to fix this. I walked over to my dad to show him the shirt and he waved me off saying, “GET AWAY FROM ME.” He would not look me in the eye for WEEKS after that incident.

So, knowing how embarrassed he’d be if he knew I was getting a text message from him every time he was horny in the afterlife….oh yeah, that would be a hysterical game. Knowing that he’d be doing everything he possibly could to prevent me from ever getting a text message from him, would make it even more fun.

How about you? Which would you rather?

Last week I got to attend 2nd Story. I volunteered to help take pictures for them since I’ve got this fancy camera and I’ve been practicing and learning how to make it work. I could take all this time here to explain what 2nd Story is, but reading about it doesn’t do it justice. You need to attend to understand. They do have podcasts on their site that you can listen to, which may help you get an idea what it’s about. But, let me tell you, attending an event is just so much more amazing. It’s all about compelling stories and the stories that spin from the one you’ve just heard. Go, listen to the podcasts and watch the videos posted on their site. Then take a look for where the next event is and go.

So what do you guys want to read about? What do you want to know? What burning questions do you have that you’ve been aching to read about? I’m here to help you… just ask!