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Lies and Trust

Sep 11th, 2011
by Pirate Alice.
2 comments

Lying is like alcoholism. You are always recovering.
- Stephen Soderbergh

I am by no means a saint. I’ve told white lies and big doozies during my life. However, if there’s one thing I have learned from all the television and movies I’ve seen is that lying always backfires on you. Just watch a soap opera and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The truth always comes out and when it does everything you’ve done comes unraveled and it all bites you in the ass.

Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.
- Sir Walter Scott

When you begin any endeavor with a lie it taints the entire experience. Whether it is starting a relationship, reaching out to someone for help or everyday interactions with other people, do not begin with a lie. That lays a foundation for distrust. How can anyone believe a word you say when all you’ve ever done is lie?

If the relationship is broken, how can  you possibly fix it if you start by being dishonest. You can’t rebuild trust if you aren’t honest from the outset. Telling the truth is so simple. You don’t have to try and remember which story you told to whom. People can’t hold it over your head threatening to expose you. If you start from a place of honesty and trust only good things can come from it.

The truth will set you free

 

Posted in: crap, lameness.

Dear Columbia College

Sep 7th, 2011
by Pirate Alice.
1 comment

Dear Columbia College,

As an alumna of your illustrious institution I am always open to receiving correspondence from you. I hope to attend more events created for all of us graduates. I want to network with others and attend writing workshops. However, your latest missive was a huge fail.

I can’t even read this. When I mouse over the links, NOTHING CHANGES. I still can’t read it.  A school known for art and design should not be sending this type of awful unreadable spam to alumni. Honestly they shouldn’t be sending it to anyone.

Who is responsible for this? I hang my head in SHAME as a graduate of Columbia College after receiving this.

Sincerely,

Pattie

Posted in: crap, lameness, Open Letter, Stupid.

Failure

Sep 1st, 2011
by Pirate Alice.
2 comments

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

I need to ask myself this question far more often.  The past couple of weeks I allowed this fear of failure to get in my way. I made all kinds of excuses and talked myself out of doing my project for class. The only person I was hurting was me. Why did I let this fear of failure take over? I spent Monday & Tuesday of this week working on the project and aside from a much deeper belief that CSS was created to torment me, it was nothing. It was the easy-peasy thing I KNEW it would be, but still, that fear stopped me in my tracks. I turned in my assignment before checking it in other browsers. Luckily IE is the only one it doesn’t work in but if you’re still using IE you’re an idiot anyway and should die a terrible horrible painful death. Seriously people, grow some balls, install Chrome or FireFox or Opera, your life will be better for it. TRUST ME I’m a web developer in training!

Back to the topic of fear…

Fear the BEHOLDER!

Back to the fear and failure topic…  We all suffer from fear. What we fear is this thing that in our minds becomes this huge monstrous beast that will torment you and tear you limb from limb and eat your entrails while you take your final breaths. But the reality is never nearly as awful as what we create out of fear. Overcoming the fear is the hardest part. Realizing that what we’re afraid of will never be nearly as bad as what we create in our minds about the situation is really hard. Once you let go of the fear, you can move forward and as you take those first steps, you realize it was never going to be as bad as you were imagining. Why do we constantly do this to ourselves? Why do we create these monsters that stop us from finding joy and happiness? Why do we keep holding ourselves back? Are we really afraid of success? Is being happy such a terrible prospect? Don’t you think you deserve to be happy and successful?

Imagine a hero!

The mighty paladin rolls a crit and gets max damage!

Your imagination is a powerful thing, like all powerful things you need to use it for good. Instead of creating a monster, create a mighty hero, a vanquisher of evil. This warrior will fight to the death on your behalf. He has no fear. Imagine the most awesome things that will happen with this warrior fighting for you. Don’t focus on what can go wrong, focus on what WILL go RIGHT. Focus on what will be amazing as you move forward. Don’t focus on failure, focus on success. Feel that success in the fiber of your being.   Embrace that success and make it real. Ask yourself: what would you do if you knew you could not fail? When you focus on success, in the end, you can only succeed because you wont give up until you do.

Posted in: general idocy, How to get what you want, Love, scary, stuff.

Web Applicaiton Developer Job Lead

Jul 29th, 2011
by Pirate Alice.
Comments are off for this post

I got this email today, feel free to share openly with whoever you think might fit. I get nothing for sharing except a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

 

One of Paladin’s leading global manufacturer in a near north Chicago suburb has an immediate for a Contract IT/ Web Applications Developer for a long-term, contract assignment.  

The Web Applications Developer is responsible for developing an overall strategy, design and implementation for corporate Internet websites, an intranet, an extranet and web applications. This role will collaborate with Marketing, Sales and other business  groups.   The overall efforts include the organization of concepts into a design of information architecture;  interface design, programming, scripting and publishing of website information, and design and development of web based applications.

The Web Applications Developer will ensure that sites are built using search engine optimized structures and administer content management tools to allow content ownership across the entire organization.  The Web Applications Developer will coordinate this effort with business units, system administrators, programmers, graphic designers, writers/editors.

Primary Responsibilities

  • Full technical knowledge in all areas of content management and enterprise content management applications.
  • Working knowledge and demonstrated experience using application software and graphics design to develop and maintain the Internet, intranet, and extranet websites.
  • Develops and deploys best practice tools for content management including user managed content areas.  Works with a variety of third party content suppliers to ensure that format, taxonomy and other Sloan specifications are adhered to.
  • Works closely with programmers, Marketing, and artists to ensure that the website is developed and tested according to specifications which allow for content sharing between systems.
  • Monitors site usage and performance.  Makes changes and suggests options to stakeholders to ensure that sites are performing optimally.  Uses search engine optimization (SEO) techniques to ensure site content is positioned correctly in search results
  • Responsible for coordination of all web projects for all the company’s divisions.

 

The Ideal Candidate will have:

  • Minimum of five years direct experience in enterprise content management and web development.
  • Bachelor’s degree in Information Technolofy or comparable field.
  • Must possess technical knowledge of Open Text web content management applications (formerly RedDot).
  • Significant hands-on experience with HTML, JAVA script, JAVA, ActiveX, server-side scripting languages, VB Script, ASP.NET, IIS, Apache, AJAX, jQuery, JOSON, CSS, XML, SOAP, etc.
  • Must have experience developing web applications utilizing SQL databases.  Experience must include defining database requirements, writing applications to access, updating and maintain the database through web based interfaces.
  • Experience with design and development using Microsoft SharePoint software is highly desirable

Knowledge, Skills & Abilities

·         The Web Applications Developer may possesses knowledge of fields as diverse as network configuration, interface and graphic design, software development, Internet tools and technologies, business strategy, writing, marketing, and project management.

·         Familiarity with graphic design and multimedia applications such as Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Real Audio, and Adobe Flash is desireable.

 

Start date: Immediate
Duration of Assignment: 3 to 6 months
Location: Onsite,

Hourly rate ranges from $45 to $50, depending on the skill level and background
Expenses are reimbursed and requires receipts.

If you’re interested and qualified for the role, please send the following immediately to maricel@paladinstaff.com to be considered for this great opportunity:

·    Updated resume in word format; No PDFs please.

·    Required: Portfolio URL link

·    Required: Cover letter highlighting relevant experience related to this role.

·    Three references

·    Hourly rate through a staffing agency

Submissions without all of the above will not be considered. 

Must be authorized to work in the US

Candidates who closely matches our client’s requirements will be contacted.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

The Great Raspberry Massacre of 2011

Jul 28th, 2011
by Pirate Alice.
Comments are off for this post

I felt it best not to take photos, but there is a photo of my pants during the battle over on Google+

It all started when I popped over at the very small (like five booths) farmers market outside the Sears Tower (it will NEVER be Willis Tower) after an appointment this morning. The idea of farm fresh raspberries, plums and peaches were too much to pass up.  I pulled out my handy tote bag that folds up into its self and told the guy I didn’t need a bag.  The plums and raspberries were placed into the bag in their little green containers. I added a cucumber and then went to the peach guy. He had little wooden containers, but I took the peaches out and left it for him to reuse.  I then ran across the street to Panera Bread. Once I was seated with my bagel and coffee I started to rearrange everything in my messenger bag, that’s when I saw the beginning of the battle. The tote bag was dripping with the blood of raspberries. I ran to the counter and asked for some plastic bags. They gave me two.  I started pulling out the heavy fruit, stuck my hand in one bag and started scooping up the raspberry survivors as well as the dead and wounded, turning the bag inside out to contain them all. Once I had the raspberry puree (the kind you find in a second hand store) bagged up I placed everything back in the tote bag and put the tote in the other plastic bag I was given. I thought at best I could make some raspberry vinaigrette out of it, maybe a small smoothie.

Alas, upon arrival home I discovered the raspberry bag had a leak and oozed everywhere. Three of the peaches were severely wounded in battle, one plum was mortally wounded. The cucumber came out covered in raspberry guts but uninjured. It’s all very sad, but I’ve learned a valuable lesson about my responsibility to ensure the safety of all raspberries in the future.

Posted in: Uncategorized.

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