Welness Check<\/b><\/p>\n
My sister emails me saying, “So are you ok? I know you guys are getting hit with some pretty bad storms. We got them this morning. Email me and let me know you’re not dead”<\/i><\/p>\n
I tell her I’m fine…and then we have a little chat:<\/p>\n
ME:\tso I’ve been discussing with Janine how ineffective it is to email someone to see if they’re still alive like… say my power went out and some guy broke into my apartment to steal my laptop…. he hits me on the head with the laptop cracking my head open I go unconscious and fall to the floor… blood gushing from the dent in my head…
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HER:\tok
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ME:\the cracks the security on the laptop and uses my accounts to email people making them THINK that he’s me…. meanwhile i’m bleeding to death on my couch with the cats licking my cold dead face…\tsee… Janine and I have the whole scenario down….
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HER:\tok
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ME:\ta phone call to check and see if I’m alive is much more effective
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HER:\twell the email is a good way to check at first and then a call later
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ME:\tnot if some guy is using my laptop pretending to be me telling you I’m OK
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HER:\tlike that would really happen
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ME:\tit could happen….
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HER:\twhat about when you don’t show up to work
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ME:\tpeople wont notice that I’m not here until around 11am or so… and then they’ll try to call me… MAYBE…\twe’re very laid back here..
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HER:\toh gee\tyou need to settle down
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ME:\tbut I wont answer…and no one has any way to get into my apartment… much less a way to call my landlord cuz they don’t know who he is.\tand there I am on my couch….decomposing…. eventually someone will smell my dead body and call the police or the landlord…
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HER:\toh dear
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ME:\theh
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HER:\tyou are a freak
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ME:\tNo.. I’m just being logical you calling me and scaring the burglar guy away would be more effecitve than emailing me
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HER:\triiight \tfreak
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ME:\tyeah… he’d be menacing me and all GRRRR and the phone would ring and he’d PANIC and say “Answer it!” and I would and you’d say, “Pattie, are you OK? Tell me you’re alive” and I’d use the secret code to tell you that I’m not OK “Mr Snickerflutz how are you? Yes, I’m fine but I can’t help you with that, please call Mr. Blatzlplatz.”\tand then you’d be like.. OH MYGOD some guy is menacing my sister and he’s going to kill her and steal her laptop! and you’d call the police and tell them.
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HER:\tyou are too much \tMr. Blazplazs? whos to say that I’d actually call at that EXACT moment
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ME:\tBlatzlplatz
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HER:\twhy am i calling him..
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ME:\tbecause that’s how it ALWAYS works in the movies.. duh Blatzlplaz\tis the code name for the POLICE…
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HER:\toh…i don’t watch those movies
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ME:\tif I said “call Mr Richtenstein” that’d mean that I feel sick and can’t move… I need an ambulance…
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HER:\twhy don’t I know these things
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ME:\tI can’t believe you don’t know this!!\twell… it could be that it’s because I made it up at this exact moment…
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HER:\thave you been watching scary movies or montell?
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ME:\tno… i watch CSI\tand Jonathan Creek
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HER:\tyou need to stop that
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ME:\tand The Swan
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HER:\tdefinately stop that
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ME:\tbut the Swan is so good!
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HER:\twhat ever
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ME:\textreme make over home edition? is that acceptible?
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HER:\tyeah
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ME:\tOK…\toh and I watch Alias too.. that’ll have it’s season finale on Sunday
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HER:\ti think i need to cancel your satelite….tv does things to your head
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ME:\tmy head was this way before TV
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HER:\ti don’t know about that
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ME:\twhat? you think I got this way because of TV watching?
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HER:\tyes
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ME: well, I didn’t.. i just have an over active imagination<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Welness Check My sister emails me saying, “So are you ok? I know you guys are getting hit with some pretty bad storms. We got them this morning. Email me and let me know you’re not dead” I tell her I’m fine…and then we have a little chat: ME: so I’ve been discussing with Janine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}