{"id":296,"date":"2004-06-02T15:29:00","date_gmt":"2004-06-02T22:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/?p=296"},"modified":"2004-06-02T15:29:00","modified_gmt":"2004-06-02T22:29:00","slug":"letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/2004\/06\/02\/letter\/","title":{"rendered":"Letter"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Just so you all know&#8230;<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Dear Fellow Followers of God;<\/p>\n<p>There comes a time in every person&#8217;s life when God calls upon them to ritualistically remove their own liver. For me, that time is at hand. And I, Pattie, am not a blasphemer. Nor am I disillusioned about the consequences of fulfilling God&#8217;s edict. I know that at best I will be left bileless, most likely dead. Let this be my last testament. Let it be known that while my body lies here in Applebee&#8217;s bathroom full of riblettes and those little cheese thingies, but empty of a liver; the rest of me is in a better place and surrounded by the spirit of the lord.<\/p>\n<p>Rejoice: Do not mourn or question.<\/p>\n<p>Kudos to the lord,<br \/>\n<br \/>Pattie<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Tell everyone I&#8217;m not psychotic.<\/p>\n<p>(you too can write a suicide letter&#8230; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.porkjerky.com\/suicide.htm\">See!<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just so you all know&#8230; Dear Fellow Followers of God; There comes a time in every person&#8217;s life when God calls upon them to ritualistically remove their own liver. For me, that time is at hand. And I, Pattie, am not a blasphemer. Nor am I disillusioned about the consequences of fulfilling God&#8217;s edict. I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/296","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=296"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/296\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}