{"id":47,"date":"2002-08-07T17:52:00","date_gmt":"2002-08-07T22:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/?p=47"},"modified":"2010-04-10T21:01:26","modified_gmt":"2010-04-11T02:01:26","slug":"47","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/2002\/08\/07\/47\/","title":{"rendered":"August 7, 2002"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Haikus<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Last night was a big night on the town with the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.snottybitch.com\">Snotty Girls<\/a>. We had some margarita madness. I had maybe a few too many. And for the first time in a REALLY LONG TIME I was beyond the &#8220;my feet are numb&#8221; stage of margarita drinking. We were smart margarita drinkers and we took public transport home&#8230; and on the entire ride every thought in my head was in haiku form.  Here are a few of the ones that I felt were just a little too icky to post to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.snottybitch.com\">Snotty Bitch<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I sneeze out the snot<br \/>\ngooey, sticky, slimy hand<br \/>\nall over pants now<\/p>\n<p>sit on the toilet<br \/>\nstrobe light for the cats on\/off<br \/>\nthey just don&#8217;t get it<\/p>\n<p>Mabel&#8217;s claw is stuck<br \/>\nin the blanket in closet<br \/>\nshe is stuck, I laugh<\/p>\n<p>Empty apartment<br \/>\nis it for rent? I must see<br \/>\nno sign visible<\/p>\n<p>Subway sign &#8220;open&#8221;<br \/>\nor is it &#8220;nope&#8221; rearranged<br \/>\nI am so confused<\/p>\n<p><strong>And finally&#8230;.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is the one I can&#8217;t belive I wrote down&#8230;.. oh man&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>fuck me, fuck me hard<br \/>\nI need your dick inside me<br \/>\npenetration &#8211; cum<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Haikus Last night was a big night on the town with the Snotty Girls. We had some margarita madness. I had maybe a few too many. And for the first time in a REALLY LONG TIME I was beyond the &#8220;my feet are numb&#8221; stage of margarita drinking. We were smart margarita drinkers and we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1101,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/1101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}