{"id":565,"date":"2006-05-05T06:28:00","date_gmt":"2006-05-05T13:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/?p=565"},"modified":"2006-05-05T06:28:00","modified_gmt":"2006-05-05T13:28:00","slug":"rules-of-the-schmabel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/2006\/05\/05\/rules-of-the-schmabel\/","title":{"rendered":"Rules of the Schmabel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Don&#8217;t diss the Mabel!<\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"mobile-photo\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"320\" src=\"http:\/\/photos1.blogger.com\/blogger\/4248\/25\/0\/unnamed-image-1-781918.jpg\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"mobile-post\">\n<p>Mabel&#8217;s rules:<\/p>\n<p>1. NEVER pick her up (even I can&#8217;t pick her up without blood being drawn)<br \/>2. Don&#8217;t approach her, let her come to you<br \/>3. She likes to talk, converse with her<br \/>4. If she wants you to pet her, you&#8217;ll know it<br \/>5. If she doesn&#8217;t want you to pet her, you&#8217;ll know it<br \/>6. You can entice her to come to you, if she wants to, by blowing kisses at her, calling her Mabel-Schmabel and moving your hand like you&#8217;re scratching her head<br \/>7. Leave windows open<br \/>8. Leave the toilet seat up, she likes playing in the toilet<br \/>9. Toilet paper is entertaining, she likes to eat it<br \/>10. Don&#8217;t waste money on cat treats, she wont eat them<br \/>Anyone violating these rules will, most likely, get bit<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t diss the Mabel! Mabel&#8217;s rules: 1. NEVER pick her up (even I can&#8217;t pick her up without blood being drawn)2. Don&#8217;t approach her, let her come to you3. She likes to talk, converse with her4. If she wants you to pet her, you&#8217;ll know it5. If she doesn&#8217;t want you to pet her, you&#8217;ll [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=565"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}