Eragon or Star Wars?<\/b><\/p>\n
I got to see Eragon yesterday. Haven’t read the books so I can’t say anything regarding how different or same it is in that area.<\/p>\n
But I have to say this movie reminds me so much of Star Wars it’s not funny. <\/p>\n
Do not read any further if you plan to see the movie, spoilers galore!<\/b><\/p>\n
Eragon is the movie of a young farmboy who finds a dragon and ends up being the last best hope of the rebel forces trying to overthrow the evil tyrant king of the land.<\/p>\n
Eragon is the farmboy, he lives with his uncle and cousin (just missing Aunt Beru). He goes out hunting for deer in the woods and just as he shoots an arrow at an unsuspecting fawn KABLAM! A strange blue rock appears in a circle of flame. (and he misses the deer). He approaches the rock and decides he’ll keep it. He goes into town to the butcher and tries to trade the crazy blue rock for some good cuts of steak, the butcher freaks out telling him to “put that thing away and tell no one you have it!”<\/p>\n
He wanders town and we see the king’s soldiers stealing boys from their homes under the guise of “drafting” them into the army. Jeremy Irons is hanging out being nasty to the soliders with his string of dead birds, the soldiers harass him and take the birds for dinner. This meeting with the tough wise bearded man is important, we know this because of the look in both Eragon’s eye and Obi-Wan’s…er uh Jeremy Irons.<\/p>\n
Eragon goes home and play fights with his cousin and then cousin tells him he’s leaving town so that the soldiers can’t draft him. Eragon is sad and he stares into the setting sun while standing on a hill, much the same way young Luke Skywalker stared at the setting twin suns on Tatooine just before meeting his mentor Obi-Wan.<\/p>\n
Eragon inspects the strange blue rock and then it begins to hatch. This stolen rock is actually an egg…and a cute baby blue dragon appears. When he reaches out to pet the dragon there is a flash of light and a thunderclap erupts. We see Evil King Palpatine blink, Red Haired Princess blink, Darth Maul Sorcerer blink and Jeremy Irons too…they all realize there is a disturbance in the Force.<\/p>\n
Evil King Palpatine orders Darth Maul sorcerer guy to, “bring me that boy!” cuz he wants his blue rock\/egg back. See, this meddlesome Red Haired Princess has stolen it from him and she zapped it into the forest where Eragon was hanging out. Darth Maul has Princess as his hostage in the Death Castle. Darth Maul creates some men out of roaches and sends them off to find the boy.<\/p>\n
Eragon is hanging out in town again and he hears Wise Old Obi-Wan-Jeremy-Irons talking about the days of dragon riders and that the legends are true and dragon riders will come again and destroy the punk tyrant king. A soldier harasses Obi-Wan but Eragon talks smack to the soldier making him let Obi finish…<\/p>\n
Eragon now has a swirly lowercase e scar on his palm. And he is playing with his dragon helping her learn to fly. She takes flight up into the clouds. And reminiscent of Harry Potter’s scar, Eragon’s burns and we see his dragon undergoing the same fate as many children on soap operas do…the dragon ages rapidly and gets really big. The dragon lands and via telepathy talks to Eragon telling him her name is Saphira and he is her rider…blah blah blah. <\/p>\n
Eragon sneaks off in the middle of the night to Obi-Wan’s place. He finds many books and Obi-Wan tells him not to break and enter into other people’s houses. “If you don’t bring me the droid with the message for me I’m not going to help you. Get out!”<\/p>\n
Eragon wanders town but all the people are running in fear. He hears a disturbance in the butcher shop and peeks in. He sees one of Darth’s roach men harassing the butcher and the butcher is giving up the dirt on who has the stolen rock\/egg and where to find him. Eragon runs off home to help his Uncle Owen. However, Saphira has other plans cuz she knows how dangerous the roach men are. She grabs Eragon in her talons and flies him around in the sky. He bitches and moans and is all pissy cuz he’s gotta help Uncle Owen. When Saphira gives up and releases him he runs home to find Uncle Owen dead. He blames Saphira for his uncle’s death cuz we all know that young boys with dragons are indestructible and can kill roach men with their bare hands.<\/p>\n
Obi-Wan shows up, and sets Uncle Owen’s house on fire and drags Eragon away. We watch the dark smoke as the two ride off toward the Mos Eisly Cantina. <\/p>\n
Eragon learns eventually that Obi-Wan is a former dragon rider and he killed a traitor dragon rider that turned evil. He teaches Eragon the ways of the Force…how to fight, etc. Eragon gets a vision created by Darth that the Princess is in trouble and only HE can save her. So he runs off to save her even though Obi-Wan tells him not to. Foolish boy… they have to meet up with the rebels!<\/p>\n
Eragon and Saphira land just outside the Death Castle. And he dons the best disguise ever – a hooded brown cloak. No one EVER recognizes the person in the hooded brown cloak…especially when they’re expecting your arrival. He gets into the Death Castle and has no idea where to find the Princess because Han Solo isn’t with him and there is no computer panel or R2-D2 to help. Ahh, but Eragon knows the magic words to help him see just like his dragon does…heat signatures of people through walls and stuff. So abracadabra and he sees through walls and finds the Princess. He breaks down the door to her cell (cuz he’s being really covert now to save her) she tells him it’s a trap and to get out. And Darth Maul appears behind him!! They fight, Eragon realizes he’s stupid but Obi-Wan jumps in his way and takes a knife to the chest for him! Ergon launches an arrow and gets a head shot to Darth Maul who vanishes in a puff of smoke.<\/p>\n
The Princess, Obi-Wan and Eragon take off on the back of Saphira, who can’t take all the weight, and they regroup on a mountain top somewhere. Obi-Wan is dying, but he gives a nice motivational speech about locating the rebel forces and tells Eragon that Darth can only be killed by a blade to the heart, so the head shot was just cool looking and completely ineffective. They bury him in a pile of rocks and take off.<\/p>\n
But at another pit-stop poor Princess has been poisoned by Darth. She’s looking quite peaked and can’t stand up. Suddenly this man in black shows up. He’s all swarthy and cool and helps fight off more roach men as Princess lies on the ground. Saphira doesn’t care much for roguely, Han Solo, man in black. But Eragon thinks he’s cool so he’s allowed to join them. They take off for the rebel camp in the mountains.<\/p>\n
They find the camp but the people aren’t so friendly. Once Eragon proves he’s their savior, they take a look at Han. They don’t like Han. It turns out that Han is the son of the traitor dragon rider that Obi-Wan killed. Han gives a speech about how you don’t pick who your Dad is and lifts up his shirt showing off his rippling 6-pack abs and points to a scar saying, “This is all my dad gave me! And check out my abs! I’m way hotter in that bad-boy way than this pansy Eragon. You NEED me!” And the rebels decide to sort him out later and throw him in the dungeon.<\/p>\n
They prepare for battle. Eragon gets some cool armor that matches the Princess’s armor. Saphira gets cool armor that the Princess says the rebels were up all night creating, but when the battle begins she’s wearing some other amror than the stuff the rebels created. (Which I don’t understand. They show this cool armor with intricate detail work but when we see Saphria, she’s not wearing that stuff, she’s wearing some other stuff that has NO detail work, just slick plate mail…whats up with that?!?)<\/p>\n
The battle rages, Han gets out of the cage and kills bad guys, the rebels are victorious, Darth dies at the hand of Eragon. And it seems Saphira is mortally wounded. We all know there are 2 books in this story and that she can’t possibly die so when we see Eragon’s scar light up and he says “oogly boogly” over her wounds and then pass out we know he’s saved her.<\/p>\n
However, Han tries to fake us out with a straight faced practical joke when Eragon wakes up. But we know he’s a big liar and only wants to show off his rippling abs and roguely good looks. He tells Lu…uh Eragon that the Princess has run off back home and Saphira flies off to catch up to her. They talk about further battles against King Palpatine and they’ll see each other again. There is no smooching cuz we all know the Princess is his sister cuz Mom ran off in a hurry after dumping Eragon with Uncle Owen.<\/p>\n
And then…the final shot is of an angry King Palpatine he tears down the curtain in his throne room and there is this angry snarling dragon hidden behind the curtain. I’d be angry too if I was kept hidden behind a curtain.<\/p>\n
So yeah, Eragon is weak…the movie that is…not the boy. Ok story but it’s not like we haven’t seen this story before. The young boy who is the last best hope for the future of the people of the world. All that was missing was Han and Princess saying repeatedly “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” and you would have had Star Wars. I am not impressed, I don’t think it’ll do well. It’ll be seen only by people who’ve actually read the books once word gets around that it’s kinda sucky and lame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Eragon or Star Wars? I got to see Eragon yesterday. Haven’t read the books so I can’t say anything regarding how different or same it is in that area. But I have to say this movie reminds me so much of Star Wars it’s not funny. Do not read any further if you plan to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=640"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/640\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dreadpiratealice.com\/treasure_room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}