Spam
(PA sets soapbox on floor then stands on it)
So I’ve gotten 3 emails in one hour about enlarging my penis and just now I got two of the same email telling me that my manhood could be saved. Now seeing as how I’m a girl…this makes me wonder if my manhood could in fact be saved if I reply to that email. Or if perhaps the other people could give me a penis of my own and then enlarge it.
This should be evidence to all spammers that spam advertising is just not effective! You can’t target the proper audience or demographic for your message by sending junk email to millions of people and hope that your message “sticks” to at least one. I’ve got 26 unopened spam emails in my deleted mail box right now. How can your message reach people if they don’t even open the email? And for a woman to receive an email with a subject line of “Penis patch: Grow your penis safely and naturally” makes me wonder if this is some Chia Pet style sex toy or if they just sent it to the wrong person. And emails with the subject line of “dwZCgx’Free dwZCgx Traffic dwZCgx,Included” I just don’t understand and never bother to open. I also get spam emails with the subject line of “RE: about last night” or “Missed you” I don’t fall for those, because the person they are from is never anyone I know. Plus my email program lets me put my pointer over the name in the from column and it shows me the email address. So even if it’s a familiar first name, the email address is always a dead giveaway that it’s just another piece of spam.
So to all the spammers out there… I don’t have a penis, I don’t want to grow one or make the one I don’t have bigger. I’m not going to order stocks from an unsolicited email, I’m not going to buy Valium or pain pills from you either. I don’t care to see naked “virgins” getting it “up the ass” from a “insert animal name here” and for you really sick and twisted spammers, NO I don’t want to watch any rape videos either, I’ll forward your emails on to the FBI from now on. I’m not stupid enough to fall for the “make $1000 a day from the comfort of your home” emails, and I really don’t belive a patch will help me to lose weight. And Sally Summers, I don’t need to get any more magazines sent to my home. I get all the magazines I want, and I still haven’t had time to read last month’s National Geographic yet because I spend all my free time picking all your junk emails out of my box so that I can find the REAL emails I WANT to read. I don’t want any “free info” either, I’m actually quite good at finding the free info on things I really want all by myself, I don’t need any of you spammers to send it to me.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE… stop sending me shit!!
(step down from box)
