How to get pregnant
Me: How do these people get two thousand dollar tax refunds?
Him: grunt
Me: They can’t possibly make more than me.
Him: Maybe they have kids, big deduction.
Me: Oh…yeah…kid tax credit…that’s huge…
Him: grunt
Me: I think I need to start having kids.
Him: Grunt (followed by a choking sound) I don’t think we’re ready for kids just yet.
Me: Well, I’m not getting any younger…And wouldn’t you like an extra couple thousand next year?
