Dread Pirate Alice

How to get pregnant

Me: How do these people get two thousand dollar tax refunds?
Him: grunt
Me: They can’t possibly make more than me.
Him: Maybe they have kids, big deduction.
Me: Oh…yeah…kid tax credit…that’s huge…
Him: grunt
Me: I think I need to start having kids.
Him: Grunt (followed by a choking sound) I don’t think we’re ready for kids just yet.
Me: Well, I’m not getting any younger…And wouldn’t you like an extra couple thousand next year?

Russian Roulette with your taste buds

The good people at Boing Boing always show me cool stuff. Like the box of Roulette Chocolate it’s a box of 12 chocolate bullets, 11 have a praline filling, 1 has a red hot chili pepper (not a band member, but an actual pepper) inside. What delicious fun eating chocolate hoping you don’t end up with your mouth on fire! Eh, yeah, not so much.