Adventures in Podiatry
So I got to make my first ever visit to a Podiatrist yesterday. Very exciting let me say…
See it all started last month when my big toe started acting all sensitive and stuff. If anything touched my toe (the dog’s tail, the cat’s ear, the boy’s shirt) it was a pain such as “I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!” and I thought, eventually, I will experience the pain of “I CAN’T WALK!” if I let this continue. So I made a regular doctor appointment to see if she could help me out.
When I arrive at my doctor and the nurse girl asks why I’m there all I can think of to say is “My toe hurts” and the look on nurse girl’s face is one of “Smart ass” and I feel a need to elaborate so I try to explain the “kill you” pain, but she doesn’t get it and merely takes my blood pressure and then leaves. Doc came in and I explained what was going on and she was very kind to look at my toe and then said, “you need a podiatrist for this” and I’m thinking…but WHY? It’s not purple…I can walk…I don’t feel a need to kill anyone anymore…it’s more like a “don’t touch my foot” kind of pain. But alas, the Doc wanted a professional to fix it. So I made the appointment.
If you ever wondered, the kind of person who goes to a podiatrist is like…older than dirt. I swear, I was the only person in that waiting room under the age of 50. And they’re all looking at me like I don’t belong there or something. I wanted to say, “Look Gramma, I may not have bunions but my toe hurts just as much as yours!”
I sit and wait until my name is called, I’m instructed to take off my shoes and sit in this large, comfy-ish chair. I wait for the Doc to come in, she’s young, pretty. I explain the “kill you pain” versus the “don’t touch my foot” pain and she chuckles… I think I may have been her most entertaining patient ever. And she checks out my toe. It is indeed a slight ingrown nail. It isn’t bad yet so I did good in catching it early. She leans back the chair without warning me first and I freak out…which entertains the doctor further. And she does her thing. Puts some “cold spray” on my toe (dunno what it was, but yeah, it was cold and she called it cold spray) and then I hear snipping and then in minutes (shorter time than what was spent in the waiting room) I’m done. She mentions the possibility of having to remove the side of my toe nail if it happens again. To which I, the master of crazy faces, made a crazy horror face that she laughed at but she said it’s no big deal, and yeah, it probably sounds worse than it really is.
But now my toe is better, all I need is a regular application of Neosporin on it and I’m good. Unless of course this thing grows back and cuts into my flesh…then I’m going to need to go back and have the ENTIRE SIDE REMOVED! (imagine crazy face of extreme terror)
